Jobs
by DramaDelicacy
Summary: Lazy ninjas need jobs in real world. xNo pairingsx


**Now… I wonder what will it be **_**if**_** I decide what's the perfect **_**job**__**s**_**) for **_**some**_** of the characters in Naruto. I hope it makes sense and not real worse ones.**

Naruto: I don't think that's such a good idea.

Me: Well, I _do_ think that's a _great_ idea. Since _I'm_ the _one_ who decides.

Naruto: But _you_ do _not _own _us_!

Me: True, but I _do_ own this fiction. Hah!

Naruto: (Groan)

Sakura: Stop complaining! She can't start!

Me: See? It's nice to have Sakura on _my _side!

Naruto: (Groan)

Gaara: Shut up, kyuubi!

Kyuubi: Hey, Ichibi! You have problem with me!

Ichibi: Well, I think I _do_! I hate the way _you_ have _nine_ tails while I only own _one_ tail!

Kyuubi: It's not my fault that I have nine tails and you only one! It's… It's… the nature who decides… (Sparkling eyes)

Ichibi: Gaara, my boy, let's kick some fox's butt!

Gaara: Love to.

Naruto: W-What? Whoa! Gaara, stop! Temari, Kankurou, a _little_ help will be cool!

Temari and Kankurou: We _love_ to help, but _unless_ you forgot, we'll be dead _if_ we get in _his _way! So, good luck.

Sakura: Hey, can we just get started? Cause Gaara is starting to juice Naruto up.

Me: Yeah, I think that's the best idea of all.

Naruto: (Groan) the… (Pant) Best… idea… (Moan) is to help… (Scream like a girl) me out of this… (Cry) Hell! Help anyone! Ugh! Gaara, please!

Me: And that's just _why_ we should start _now._

**Okay… Here goes!**

We can start with Naruto, then… Since I owe him his life… whatever that means.

_Naruto: A Judge in an international Ramen Competition. Who always gets free cups of ramen and lots of ramen coupons for Ichiraku._

Naruto: I love you!!! I like my job! Hey, Gaara, you can stop now!

_Sakura_: _A Pro-Wrestler._

Sakura: Well, I don't think that's bad. I can kick everyone's butt when I'm in a _really_ bad mood. (Glare at Naruto who looked innocent)

Naruto: What?

_Sasuke: The sexiest man in Konohawood. _(I don't think there's any _Holly_wood, so Konohawood's not bad… I guess)

Sasuke: Hmph, I like it… the _sexiest man_… I beat my bro in that, huh?

Me: Well, actually, he'll be the most sexiest man in Konohawood.

Sasuke: (Glare) What?

Me: Nothin'. (Looking dumb) (Cough) Moving on!

_Neji: Airport Security._

Neji: I don't think that's a genius job for a genius like me.

Me: Well (cough) you know… you help lots of people. And (trying to look calm, for he was looking at me sharply) you need a big brain to know what's the difference between a bomb and a bottle of water.

Neji: (Looking convinced) Yeah, okay, whatever.

_Tenten: Weapons seller._

Tenten: Yeah, I like it… since I know a lot of stuffs about weapons…

Sakura: Yeah, Tenten! Just don't _try_ how _sharp_ your weapon is by killing people.

Tenten: (Laughing sheepishly) Well, I'm _unlike _(looking at Orochimaru) some of us here, I hate killing people.

Me: Okay, let's move one before _someone_ (looking at Orochimaru who slithered our way already) eat us away.

_Lee: A teacher on how to cry like a man_.

Lee: Yes! I like that! Don't you, Gai-sensei?

Gai: Yes, Lee! I love it! It's… it's… (Sobs) very _manly_!

Lee: (Bursting into tears) Gai-sensei!

Gai: (Bursting into tears) Lee!

Sasuke: Okay, would _you_ move one, please? I'm afraid I'll puke.

Me: Yeah, that'll be cool! (Peeking at the 'relationship' between the student-teacher) Hey! How that sunset scene get _here_! Oh, God! There are waves, too!

Sakura: Well, you know them…

Sasuke: What?

Sakura: They're just as _random_ as no one does in this room.

Sasuke: (Sweat-dropped) Sakura, my darling, I think you have lost your dear pretty brain!

Gaara: (Glaring from Naruto to Sasuke) Hey, you! _You_ know she got a _point_!

Naruto: (Pant) Huff, I'm saved. Hinata, help me!

Hinata: (Blushing real red)

Sasuke: What?

Gaara: Don't you _dare_ say that to _her_!

Sakura: (Holding Gaara back) Gaara, stay back, its okay…

Gaara: What? Now you're on _his _side! No way, uh-uh! Don't forget that you're mi-

Me: Okay (Covering Gaara's mouth with Sakura's hand) let's continue before things turns messy.

Gaara: Mphmhmmmhph! (Translation: Let me at _her_! That _illegal_ author!)

_Hinata: An actress, that always gets the fainting and blushing part._

Hinata: I-I don't want to faint _and_ blush all the time… (Sobs)

Neji: Hinata-sama! (Glaring his white eyes at me) How dare you make her cry!

Naruto: Yeah! Our jobs started to gets weirder as time goes!

Me: Well, that's just because _you_ can't stop talking and fighting and screaming! That's why my brain isn't working pretty well!

Sakura: Yes, I agree with her… Let's just think of some other job for Hinata and we'll be quiet for a minute or so…

Me: (Sighed with relief) Thanks, Sakura…

_Hinata: A cool Chakra teacher. _(Like the way she did with her Chakra in the waterfall episode, ups… sorry; a bit of a Spoiler)

Hinata nodded but say nothing, cause they promised not to say anything for a minute or so…

_Kiba: A dog whisperer._

_Shino: A bug collector, the life ones._

_Ino: A spy._

_Shikamaru: A war strategist._

Naruto: (Whispering) is it a minute yet?

Tsunade: Shush, Naruto! She's concentrating!

_Chouji: A real Champion for the all-you-can-eat competition around the World!_

Chouji: Can we talk now?

Sakura: (Looking at her watch) Guess so…

Chouji: Good! (Raising his hand)

Me: Yes? What?

Chouji: It is a great job for me?

Me: (Thinking) Well, If I were you… It will be a _prefect_ job! You get to eat anything you want everyday and you will won every time… so more food!

Chouji: Really! Cool!

Hinata: Um…

Me: Yes? You don't like the job?

Hinata: Actually, I love it…

Me: (Smile) Good. Now, let's get on with it!

_Tsunade: A bikini model._

Jiraiya: Hahaha! Tsunade? A bikini model! Hahaha!

Tsunade: You got problem, huh?

Jiraiya: Orochimaru, can you believe it?! Hahaha! A bikini model! Imagine the entire bikini that will repel from her big… Wahahaha!

Orochimaru: (Red face, trying to hold his laugh, cause he know what will happen _if_ he laugh)

Tsunade: Well, let me _repel_ you away!!!

Jiraiya: Uagh! (Tsunade hit him)

Me: Okay, its turning blood lake _in_ here, so I think it's a nice time to move on.

Orochimaru: Yeah, I agree. (Nod)

Jiraiya: Aaaagh! Help me!

_Jiraiya: The author of the _(cough, not sure about this) _the all-time best-selling book, Icha-icha Paradise!_

Kakashi: Yes! I'm in Heaven!!!!

Sakura: Ano… Kakashi-sensei, you look perverted _enough_.

Jiraiya: (Smiling proudly) that's just a _small_ part of _my_ delightful job… (Sobs)

_Orochimaru: A snake tamer._

Orochimaru: Yessss (Hissing like a snake) I like it. Sounds pretty… _snakey_.

Me: (Looking at Orochimaru, thinking that I might be giving a wrong job) O…kay, let's move on.

_Kabuto: A tarot card reader._

Kabuto: Well, it's pretty nice. According to my cards, we will be getting into the teachers' jobs now.

Me: (Nod) even though Kabuto cards are not supposed to read the _future_, let's just make it _that_ way.

_Kakashi: A dog trainer._

Sakura: Kakashi-sensei, aren't you going to give a comment or anything?

Kakashi: (Reading the Icha-icha Paradise) ….

_Gai: A P.E. teacher._

Sasuke: Hey, you know we'll be dead if he ever be our P.E. teacher, right?

Me: (Nod) Yeah, but I dunno what else to give him. (Looking at Gai) he seemed happy, though.

Neji: Of course he is. And so do Lee. (Pointing at Lee)

Lee: (Sobs) Wh-What an honorable job, Gai-sensei!

Gai: I know, Lee! (Sobs) Okay, for a start, run 200 laps around Konoha! Let's go!

Lee: Yosh!

Me: Hey, we still have some stuff to finish here.

Gai: What! You dare refuse my challenge of manliness? Its 300 laps for you, young lady!

Me: (Sobs)

Sasuke: Told you not to do it.

**Okay… I think that's all… Sorry if you wants more but I'm too lazy to continue. Who knows, I might continue… Hehe**


End file.
